Peope really don't listen.

So I was having a pretty good day things were looking up. The dad had another doctor consult and they have a new plan that they say has a CHANCE of giving him more time. I go in tomorrow to do some paper work for the Marines.  I'm starting to get out more I had a good day so was trying to figure out what every one's up to, to make plans. I made a few calls got some "maybe let me call you back". Okay I got some time. I got online checked out facebook, hit the support groups site. Then did something I haven't done in a few days. I checked her blog. Well that shot the day to hell. I feel like a bastard all over again. She's such a sweet girl and I. I hurt her and almost cost her so much. I didn't think before I did things like I should have, and it tares me apart knowing I hurt her. I just want to say how sorry I am so bad but that would just make things worse. On top of all that some one from the support group has been telling her things. She in turn got worried and told a family member of mine. That is not why I went to the support group damn it. I didn't want them to worry. No body fucking listens to me. Does no one get that, that is what I hate. It's what I hate about myself right now and what I am trying to change. Saying one thing, hearing it and still, doing what ever the hell they want or think is best. I did it and hurt her. I know this and I'm trying to change. I stopped bugging her and I'm trying to leave others out of this shit it's mine to deal with now. I should never have tried to find help. Now everyone I didn't want to know knows and fuck I'm damned if I do damned if I don't. I'm better I have other things to do now I'm working things out I'm moving on and then this. This one really is everyone not listening. I thought I was just being a kind of normal guy thinking people aren't listening but I said "I don't want them knowing so they wont worry." This is just not what I was hoping for when I tried to get help and talk to people.