A realization that it's caring thats hurting

I'm so excited right now. It's all so clear to me. How could I have not figured this out sooner? For a couple days now I've been fallowing the advice given me by several people. Some I know others I don't, but I want to thank them all. Okay so not going to rush in and just say that I can't be wrong here. I could very well be but I'm very happy right now. Happy isn't the right word I know but it's the closest I have right now. I'll explain in the next few posts what has me smiling even though I still feel the hurt I have for almost a week. It may take a few days to get it all down in writing but that's a good thing. Really I want to just go tell her what I'm thinking so she can think about it to but she's asked me to give her some time and space and I said I would so writing it first will do that. It also gives me the chance as I'm writing it to think about it some more just to be sure. I'll have to fill out some of the things I've said I would in the first post for any one new reading this to get every thing that brought me to this point. As she knows most of what I need to add for this to make sense and has as I've said a blog of her own that has every thing from the beginning to the end there will be an abridged highlights version up some time tomorrow for her, if she reads this, and for any one else who has read her blog from the beginning. The filler and the few things I've been thinking about that helped get me here that she doesn't know are already half written and just need some rearranging for me to be sure this is how and why I am, and have been, having these feelings.We'll see in the morning, but for now I'm exhausted so good night.