I'm just going in circles.

Okay the whole spread it out thing isn't working. Her friend just got on saying I said she lied to me. No she didn't it was just in that moment that I focused in not having talked about it. THAT is what I said and told her. That I'm guilt tripping her. We aren't going to be a couple ever again I get that I'm asking for someone to talk with. This is the shit I'm NOT sending to her I've been trying to deal with it. To deal with each problem in the area of my life it affects that's not working. So lets try putting it all in one place so people don't give me shit over why I'm taking things hard. It really did all happen at once and that breaking point of mine people have been waiting to see was hit in one day. The first was car troubles then the call about not getting the jobs. Then came the bills in the mail and a fight with the family and finding out sis was pregnant again. The parents got home and announced the chemo isn't working time to start the good byes and of course what I've been talking about here most JR. I was about to try to talk to her when she said she had been having a rough day to I wanted to hear her so it wouldn't sound so be after mine but then well you know the story now. So really how much is one person supposed to take? I'm trying to deal and not throw it all in peoples faces. The easy one to fix are vehicles. I'm keeping the cars going but I'm not a mechanic. I'm just the only one in the family that knows how to work on them. Then the jobs. I'm filling out applications and trying to get interviews. Now the girl troubles. I'm trying to work out any hard feelings so everyone can stop thinking about them like I'm trying to get back together and can move to the next issue but that's not happening. Then the family things I'm working on with the family trying to be with them through it all and to say my good byes but the thoughts of just giving up are still there. I was told after my pleas for attention to try getting help and I have. They say to try writing like a blog or something then working through each issue one at a time with those involved and that's what I've been trying to do but no one involved wants to talk about any of it. With the family they're going through it to so don't want to hear about my issues. Friends have helped some but they've never had all this shit at once so when I break down and spill the just say talk to so and so or yeah you got issues find someone and somewhere else to deal with them. JR is getting stressed out with my wanting to talk and her friend says I'm trying to guilt trip her. No I really was just trying to talk with a friend who has helped keep this all at bay as it came tell now. The suicide support group and this blog are the only places I can get this out and get anything back good or bad. No one seems to see I am trying no one wants to listen and it's because one by one these problem aren't so bad but they didn't come one at a time. I'm reaching but this is all I'm finding this blog and the group and that's not enough. I can't get one on one help. There's non around out here and what's in the nearest city I can't pay for. Why can't anyone listen and talk with me. I'm just going in circles and everyone just keeps say the same thing. Deal with it yourself somewhere else cause we can't, so we don't want to hear about it.