I just want to leave it all behind.

I'm just so tired of all this. All I'm getting in regards to trying to talk to any one about anything is shit. I don't often need anyone but I'm tired of being like this. I've been this way for years and I hate it. I try going out getting to know people. I try and I try and I try. What the fuck is the point? All I'm good for is making other people happy for a while then when it comes to me fuck it. Not that anyone cares I just want someone to talk with. Someone to spend a few minutes talking with and to understand. Am I asking to much? I tried talking to people, friends, family anyone I thought would be there when I needed them and you know what I got. "Quit bitching," "Get your shit together," "Suck it up,". Great talk right. No your not alone we care . That's coming from the same people. Making others happy makes me happy but knowing nobody else gives a shit in return. I just want away. I've said life would be easier if I didn't care, if I were an asshole. Well every one already thinks I am so what the hell's left? I don't know if I can go through years of this again. I'm trying but there is no one here to help me. I'm trying to get away or find other ways to get by but I can't do it alone and I don't want to. I say that and others say I have 'issues'. I say that and I'm seen as worthless. Hell I agree, if all I'm good for is making others happy and being treated like trash after then what am I worth? I've been thinking again and I can't stop. I want to get away and be happy but all I get is screwed over. I'm so fucking tired of going through this. I know what I sound like but can anyone say I'm wrong? The people I love and care about the ones who say they love and care for me back act like this and I can't get away. I'm trying again to get away but if I can't I don't know what else to do.